Colette: Horst has done time.
Linguini: What for?
Colette: No one know for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him.
(Source: gifspixar)
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
All of Stefon’s New York’s Hottest Clubs
(Source: stoopidsarah, via thief-of-always)
Someone tied a balloon to a dead pigeon.
get well soon
(via thief-of-always)
(Source: whatsgoingon12, via thief-of-always)
Nick Fury just really wants the Avengers to go the fuck to sleep.
(Samuel L. Jackson’s audio book of Go The Fuck To Sleep)
(Source: bartonesque, via ridiculousinpicadilly)
My scar where they removed the tumor.
I didn’t notice until now that it’s in the shape of an exclamation point.
So it’s like, “! This is a boob!”
Ha ha I am easily amused.
Egg salad is the least sexy food I can think of.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Oh my God this song.
I love it.
Is it wrong for me to want it to play at my funeral?
AH maybe I can steal Nick Swardson’s idea and have a normal funeral.
With normal music.
And a closed casket.
(But my body’s not in the casket)
And then in the middle of the service
THE LIGHTS GO OUT
AND THE STROBE LIGHTS COME ON
AND MY BODY SWINGS DOWN FROM THE CEILING ON WIRES
AND SWINGS AND DANCES AROUND
TO THIS SONG.
Yes.
Nobody tell me no the plan is now in motion prepare yourselves loved ones.
^^
Reblogging again just for that.
I can see their faces now.
..HAHAHAHA
I feel so bad for your relatives.
(via cryogenic-petri-dish)
